The Tangled Rivals Initiative

What We Do

• Clarify expectations and shared language — because words matter, and tone matters more, and and her eyes when she looks at me like that.... FUCK!
• Replace assumptions with verifiable agreements. Keep hands visible. Keep voices even. Keep breathing steady even when it starts to feel like that slow, hot rhythm again—no, stay grounded.
• Codify boundaries and repair strategies. Rehearse greetings, goodbyes, and smalltalk until they sound natural and are without a single hiss.
• Document accountability and follow-ups, in triplicate, because that’s what professionalism is. We don’t chase. We log. We move on. (It’s just… hard, when she's so close ... and just won't stop.... UNGH!!)

What To Expect

• 90-minute discovery with both participants. They’ll sit across from each other, toes and knees met, avoiding direct eye contact, pretending this is just another meeting. But if her toes overlap mine once more, I SWEAR I AM GOING TO.....
• Co-written norms document and meeting cadence. “Every Wednesday at three.” Every week. Like clockwork. Like ritual. Alone in the supply closet. Her hands in my hair. Her thighs brushing against mine.
• Private check-ins and measurable goals. “Do you still think about her?” “Only when I breathe.”
• Optional HR or manager alignment meeting — though let’s be honest, they won’t understand. They never do. Not the heat of it. Not the ache of staying professional while every cell remembers what it felt like when we were fighting.

Pricing

Transparent, recovery-aligned packages. Invoices available for companies and private clients.

• Discovery & Plan — $249 (intake, boundary map, relapse-risk inventory… steady now)
• Facilitated Session — $199 / meeting (neutral room, chairs four feet apart, windows open if it gets… warm)
• Rivals Coaching Program — $899 / pair (six weeks; mirroring, controlled proximity, the gaze that… no—focus)
• Bonding Retreat Weekend — $1,499 / pair (remote lodge, shared schedule, soundproof walls for privacy — for journaling, obviously)

Rivalry-Based Discounts Available

• –10% Pairs with matching builds (fairness… symmetry… are justy so hot...)
• –15% Mutual love interest (we redirect triangles into circles of trust
• –12% Same promotion, one opening (there has to be a way to settle it)
• –8% Hometown or old-team rivalry (nostalgia monitored; no late-night “walks to clear the air”)
• –20% Sibling Rivalry (daddy and mommy wouldn't want you fighting ... or would they?)

*Discounts stack to a maximum of 30%. We keep it professional. Safe. Intimate....

Schedule

Pick a time that works for both of you. Daylight is recommended. Evenings are … available, but only at the home of our rivalry counselors in overnight stays

• Morning: cooler heads, easier breathing.
• Afternoon: pragmatic, productive, fine, fine.
• Evening: moons and memories; additional journaling required; windows and doors stay open; we keep the lights on even when—it’s fine. Ignore the red light behind the plant